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October 1, 2023

Support or Sabotage?

Beware there are master manipulators who can disguise sabotage as support. It is usually done under the guise of care and concern.  The sad part is that the master manipulators may even be those closest to us that are high trust relationships.  They can be our family, friends, and work colleagues.  You may have heard some of the following comments:

  • “I want to prevent you from getting hurt!” 
  • “I don’t want them to take advantage of you!”
  • “I don’t want you to make a fool of yourself when you fail!”

Think about your personal and professional life.  Have you ever been challenged with similar statements by a family member, colleague, or someone you thought was your friend?  They may even have made those exact same statements.  If you are like me, you may have put a smile on your face while you winced inside.  The hurt and disappointment may have been too deep to respond amicably.  

When I started my business, I received some very interesting comments from friends.  I say the word friends loosely. 

  • “Judy Kay, when are you going to stop pretending and get a real job?”
  • “Judy Kay, what makes you think you can write a book?”
  • “Judy Kay, orange is not a professional color.”
  • “Judy Kay, you will never hold and audience!”
  • “Judy Kay, you can’t wear a denim jacket on stage!”

So, what’s the why behind sabotaging behaviors?  I have found two consistent weeds at the root of sabotage behavior.

  • Fear of failure sabotage
  • Comparison sabotage

The first weed is Fear Sabotage.  Fear sabotage is fear of failure and is deep rooted.  People will project their fear of failure onto others.  They believe they are protecting others.  The ironic part is that fear is really only a negative prediction of the future.  In most cases, what they worry about doesn’t happen.  What actually happened, they didn’t even think about or worry about, and yet they still survived.  It’s proof that worry is a total waste of energy and time. 

Have you ever changed your mind about doing something because of someone asking, “But what if this happens”?  You’ve just been “what if’d” out of action. 

“Your life is a reflection of what you believe it can be!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Fear of failure manifests itself in many worries.  Fear of not being good enough, fear of not being liked or accepted, fear of judgment or criticism, fear of retaliation, fear of not being able to handle the situation; in essence, simply the fear of “what if”. 

If we can learn to evaluate the real danger, as opposed to the perception of danger (what if), we will get a more realistic viewpoint and we will be less afraid to act. Whether or not we act will be based on our confidence in being able to handle the situation versus other’s what ifs. 

The second weed is Comparison Sabotage.  Comparison Sabotage has everything to do with the limiting beliefs of the other person.  It has nothing to do with us and our capabilities.  I love this quote, “When we compare someone always loses.”  The comparer’s limiting beliefs are:

  • I am not worthy therefore why do you think you are?
  • I am willing to settle why aren’t you?
  • I can’t do it so what makes you think you can?

“What others think of you has very little to do with who you really are!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

How do we recognize the difference between support and sabotage? 

Saboteurs

  • Their opinion is always right
  • Ultimatums their suggestions are ignored
  • Deflect when challenged

The saboteur will deflect when questioned about their limiting beliefs.  They see it as a personal attack.   They will redirect the focus, blame, or criticism away from themselves.  It is an attempt to avoid dealing with negative consequences. It is also a reactive coping mechanism to avoid feelings of guilt and shame.  At its worst is a narcissistic manipulation tactic to avoid ownership and accountability. 

Supporters

  • Open to other’s opinions even when it doesn’t align with theirs
  • Willingness to initiate change initiated by someone other than them
  • Take ownership and admit to mistakes

Supporters will support you even when your dreams are bigger than theirs. Surround yourself with supporters who believe in you and are excited to help you achieve your dreams!

August 1, 2023

Four Cornerstones to Strengthen Teamwork!

I love this quote by Phil Jackson; “The strength of the team is each individual.  The strength of each member is the team!” 

Here are four cornerstones to strengthen teamwork!

TRUST

CORE VALUES

COMMUNICATION

CLEAR ROLES

Trust

Trust is a cornerstone of happy, healthy, and high performing teamwork! The dictionary defines trust as instinctive unquestioning belief in and reliance upon something.  The trust I am suggesting is not one of blind faith but instead one of confidence!  Confident trust is based on consistency!   Consistency of good reasons to trust based on significant past evidence and experiences.

Some examples of a low trust:

•          Difficulty getting the team on board and willing to follow their lead

•          Not keeping the team in the loop with details that pertain to the patients, team and practice

•          Adding rules or steps for everyone to compensate for the inadequacies of a few

•          Extra staff to cover for lack of accountability with a specific team member

•          Redundant systems and processes

Together as a team create your list of Trust Agreements. 

•          Be transparent by keeping everyone in the loop

•          Be consistent with daily tasks

•          Address questions or concerns with only the source

•          Help when you see help is needed

•          Ask for help when help is needed

•          Do what you say you will do when you say you will

•          Don’t gossip and stop gossip

•          Tell the truth using compassionate words and tone

•          Don’t be late or absent for trivial reasons

Core Values

Healthy team cultures rely on clear and consistent core values.  They will help guide the team’s attitude, behavior, and communication.  It’s very difficult to get others to follow our lead if we don’t even know who we are and what we stand for.   Owner doctors, what 4 adjectives in order of priority describe your core values?  Email JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net for a sample list. 

They are important for the entire team to know and understand as they will help guide making decisions.  Defining the core values will help avoid the distractions of the daily mundane and other people’s shoulds.  They will also establish a strategy for how to show up every day.  Core values become a blueprint on teamwork expectations.  Every action, attitude or conversation is to be examined before proceeding.  Does this action, attitude or conversation support the core values?  

Clear Communication

Healthy team cultures are built on open and honest communication.  Doctor to doctor, doctor to team, team to team and team to doctor.  Clear communication, conveyed through defined channels, is critical for teamwork.  Larger and multi-location practices will benefit greatly by creating and following a clear and consistent communication flow chart.  The flow chart will define who goes to who, when and how. Positive and honest feedback will build trust and create clarity. 

Encourage team members to ask questions, address concerns, as well as discuss processes and procedures.  There are so many moving parts in a dental practice.  Chaos and discord will arise without ongoing clear and compassionate communication.  Together as a team create your list of Communication Agreements. 

Clear Roles

Everyone on the team needs to understand their role and responsibilities that contribute to the team’s success.  It is important for every team member to become proficient at their role as well as cross trained to help support their co-workers.  Cross-training also helps create an awareness of their co-workers’ responsibilities and lessens judgment. 

Every team will experience ups and downs with staffing.  Putting untrained or inexperienced people in roles will lead to frustration, stress, accidents, and mistakes.  Sustaining successful teamwork requires a commitment to ongoing training.   Establish clear training expectations for new hires that include specific weekly and monthly goals.  There will be times that training will take a priority over productivity.  Investing in training time on the front end will reap quicker quality results on the back end. 

Cultivate the four cornerstones, trust, core values, clear communication, clear roles, in your practice and you will harvest happy, healthy, and high performing teamwork!

July 1, 2023

Get Happier! Part 2

Happiness is not just feel good, nice to have, fluff stuff.  When we feel happier more often, we entirely change our beliefs about our world, what we can achieve, and ourselves.  Harvard and Mayo Clinic research supports that the happier we are, the more successful, more intelligent, more creative, more productive and healthier we will be.


Here are the final two of four strategies to create a happier culture.

Smile Power

We get happier and make others happier when we smile.  Smile energy is extremely powerful and wide spreading.  A smile instantly creates positive energy in the environment and uplifts the mindsets of the giver, the receiver, and everyone in the vicinity.  People want to spend time around people that make them feel better.  Smiles are contagious.

A simple smile can change how you and everyone around you feels.  Try to think of something negative and keep smiling.  It is very difficult to do.  When you smile, your body recognizes it as a positive body pattern and sends a message to you that everything is okay, and that life is great.  Smiling changes our mood. When you’re feeling sad, or stressed, start smiling and you will feel instantly better.

Smile when you don’t feel well to improve your health.  A smile can boost your immune system by improving your general feelings of well-being.  Smiling makes you feel more relaxed which reduces your blood pressure and feelings of stress.  People who smile live an average of seven years longer than people who do not.  Get happier and live longer by smiling often every day!

 Action Plan – Smile Power

  • Make eye contact.
  • Smile genuinely.
  • Don’t worry about their response and whether they smile back or not. It’s not important.

Laughter Power

We get happier when we laugh more often.  Add a regular dose of laughter to every day and you will not only be happier, you will also be healthier!  However, it is not always so easy to do.  We get so busy that we focus only on getting the job done.  We don’t slow down enough to take time to laugh.  We need to add laughter to our list of daily priorities!

 Laughter triggers healthy physical changes in the body.  A good, hearty laugh:

  • Relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to an additional 45 minutes
  • Boosts the immune system
  • Decreases stress hormones
  • Triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.
  • Improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems

Think about it.  When was the last time you had a hearty laugh?  No, I am not talking about a little chuckle.  I am talking about a throw your head back, side holding, tears streaming, almost wet your pants laugh!  You don’t need to have a sense of humor, be happy or have any reason to laugh.  Just laugh for the sake of laughing!

Action Plan – Laughter Power

  • Fake it until you feel it.
  • Schedule time to practice laughing every day.
  • Surround yourself with people and things that make you laugh.

The more you practice laughing, the better you will become and the happier you will feel!

Implement the four strategies to get happier, Focus Power, Choice Power, Smile Power, and Laughter Power and you will get happier!

June 1, 2023

Get Happier! Part 1

Get happy!  Fame, money, stuff, or even other people can’t make us happy.  Just look at all the famous and wealthy people who are miserable.  Happiness doesn’t have anything to do with what we have, where we’ve been, or who we are. Happiness comes from within.  We are happy when we choose to be happy.  We have a choice:  to enjoy our lives or to find fault.  We truly do write our own stories of happiness.

“Every moment you make a choice of what you want to keep, and what you want to let go of…and that’s how you write your story!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Here are the first two of four strategies to get happier!

Focus Power!

We get happier when we change our focus to positive.  You can be happy even when life seems difficult.  Here is the big secret about staying happy and positive in difficult times.  It does not take any superpowers or anything special.  It is simply a clear understanding of the power of focus.

“Our focus creates our attitude.” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Our attitude is a learned behavior.  Having a positive attitude is a skill.  If you focus on the positive, you will have a positive attitude.  If you focus on the negative, you will have a negative attitude.  When you hear people say they are in a bad mood, it is because they choose to linger in the negative emotions.  The physical part of any emotion only lasts thirty seconds or less.  Any emotion after thirty seconds comes from hanging on to the emotion.   Woe is me people, or what I refer to as wallowers, choose to be victims of their emotions.  They wallow in them like a mud bath and tell everyone how miserable they are in hopes of eliciting sympathy.  They actually enjoy the drama and negative emotions.

The science behind the thirty seconds of emotion pertains to fight or flight.  Our immediate responses to negative or positive emotional stimuli are the result of a chemical reaction in our brains.  Responses such as a rush of adrenaline lump in our throats, being out of breath, a dry mouth, sweat running down our backs, faces turning red, nervous laughter, flailing, and kicking, and tears welling up in our eyes – these responses happen in the first five seconds.  In the next 25 seconds, we battle to take control of our bodies.  It is best not to suppress nor deny the emotion, but to let ourselves feel it, observe the physical effect on us, mentally step aside from it, and let it go.

We can choose not to be negative, angry, hurt, stressed, frustrated, grumpy or whatever.  It is always our choice.  Instead, focus on finding a solution and a reason to be happy and feel good in every situation.

Action Plan – Focus Power:

Here are action steps to achieve Focus Power:

  • Whenever you feel stressed and, in the fight, or flight zone, breathe deeply and count to ten, slowly for thirty seconds.
  • Feel and observe the physical reaction and then let it go.
  • Identify three positives in the situation. Even in the most horrific circumstances there are positives.
  • Shift your focus from what is negative or missing to what is positive and present.
  • Spend 10% of your time focused on the problem and 90% on the solution.

Choice Power

We get happier when we choose to be happier.  Have you ever thought, “I was in great mood until “___________” happened”?  When we allow “___________” (whatever the blank is at the moment) to affect how we feel, we are in essence relinquishing our power and allowing circumstances to control our emotions.  If we allow our circumstances to control our emotions, we become a victim of our circumstances.  The truth is that circumstances don’t dictate how we feel – we do!  It is always our choice!

“Happiness is always our choice!” ~ Judy Kay Mausolf

Action Plan ~ Choice Power

  • Wake up.
  • Affirm it is going to be an awesome day.
  • Choose to be positive regardless of how you feel.
  • Choose words and actions that have a positive impact.

Implement the first two strategies and you will get happier!  Tune in next month to learn the about strategy three and four to get happier!

May 1, 2023

Stop Walking On Eggshells!

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide to help them co-create a happier, healthier, and higher performing culture.  There are so many moving parts in a routine dental practice’s day. The schedule, among other things, doesn’t always happen as planned.  There are even some days when it feels as if the wheels may have fallen off.  We need to as a team be able openly discuss what is working and what is not.  The obstacles are the eggshells that get in the way.

What are eggshells?  Eggshells are the fragile feelings that arise when we try to resolve a conflict with another.  These fragile feelings are a result of what we perceive based on our past personal experiences and not necessarily the other person’s intent.  Some of the fragile feelings I am referring to are fear, anger, judgment, retaliation, desire to be liked, insecurity, nothing changes, peer pressure, hurt feelings, disrespect, it’s not nice, or it’s not my problem.

These eggshells stop many of us from addressing the elephants (the unstated issues or concerns) in the room.  We create barriers between each other by laying our eggshells all around ourselves and worrying about stepping on those that others have laid around themselves.  We believe if we talk about what is not working or what is a problem or a concern we will step on their eggshells.  Almost everything becomes too uncomfortable or off-limits to discuss.  So, we don’t!  Instead, we just keep everything inside to avoid the eggshells and the practice culture deteriorates.  The chance to make good things happen, (better results, better relationships, and more responsibility) disappears.  What appears instead is a herd of elephants.  Everyone knows they are there and yet no one will talk about them for fear of stepping on an eggshell.

The problem is, if we don’t discuss the issues as they happen, they don’t go away.  Instead, the issues become elephants and the herd continues to grow until it takes over the entire practice.  We end up tiptoeing around each other’s eggshells and pretending the elephants don’t exist.  Or gossip grows out of frustration.  Communication between team members becomes emotionally charged.  The conflicts continue to grow; resolution becomes almost impossible.  The practice culture becomes stressful and negative.  This emotional stress and negative environment can drive even the best of team members to leave the practice!

To overcome the eggshells, we need to first acknowledge they exist.  Have a team meeting to talk about the eggshells in the office.  Have each team member identify which eggshells they surround themselves with most often.  I recently held a team meeting where each team member identified their eggshells.  There was a variety of answers; desire to be liked, hurt feelings, judgment, criticism, retaliation, and nothing ever changes.  They differ for each team member because of their past experiences.

Once the eggshells have been identified, discuss the importance of talking about issues as they happen regardless of their existence.  This proactive communication helps to prevent and remove the elephants from the room.  Reinforce the message; we are all working together towards the same goal of a healthy, happy, and high performing practice culture.  To accomplish this, we must give each other a break and believe that our other team members’ intents are good.  We need to talk about the issues even if talking about issues creates eggshells like hurt feelings, judgment, or criticism.

We need to stop assuming we know what someone meant by their actions or words or the way they said something.  Sometimes even what they say or the words they use can mean something different than what we believe them to mean.  Approach with care and concern to help relieve tension and avoid defensiveness.  Respectfully ask questions until you understand the other person’s true intent.  Here are two questions I recommend based on issue.

  • I am not quite sure what you mean, please tell me more.
  • I am not quite sure what happened, please tell me more.

Once we understand each other’s intent our trust grows, and it becomes easier to talk about the issues and resolve conflict.  Resolving conflict as it occurs will help to prevent elephants and promote a happy, healthy, high performing team environment.

Be a good egg; approach and be approachable!

April 1, 2023

5 Essentials to Embrace Change Successfully!

You may have heard the quote; “The only thing that is constant is change!”  It is true, change is inevitable but not always positive or successful!  The reality is that some work cultures support positive change, while other cultures sabotage change. There are many factors involved, such as team workload, other current changes in progress, team beliefs about change, clear communication about the change, benefits of the change, appropriate training, coaching and support provided during the change, etc.

I have the privilege of helping dental teams nationwide create a happier, healthier and higher performing culture that they will enjoy coming to everyday.  This always involves making changes.  I often observe team members roll their eyes and let out deep sighs of frustration when they hear there is another change heading their way.  They stress and worry about how it will affect them and how long it will last.  This article is dedicated to learning how to rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process.

Change for many of us is often scary.  The fear of change comes when we start the assumptions of “what if” thoughts!  How many times have you been afraid to make a change because of saying to yourself, “But what if this happens”? You just “what if’d” yourself right out of action. Think about this. It’s a biggy! How many times has fear stopped you? The ironic part is that fear is really only a negative prediction of the future. In most cases, what we worry about doesn’t happen. What actually happened, we didn’t even think about or worry about, and yet we still survived. Its proof that worry is a total waste of energy and time. If we can learn to evaluate the real danger, as opposed to the perception of danger (what if), we will get a more realistic viewpoint and we will be less afraid to make the change. Imagine how much happier you would be right this second if the fear of “what if” had no impact on your decisions. What would you do or change? What would your life look like right now?

Change requires us to have courage to face our fear of “what if” in unpredictable and unknown!  Regardless of how dysfunctional, unhappy, unproductive or toxic the current culture may be it often feels safer to keep the status quo.  The known almost always feels safer than the unknown.  That is why it is imperative that the value of the change be clear to those asked to make the change.  It is essential that the value and benefits of change rate an 8 or above on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being high.  Otherwise, the chance for the change to be positive and sustainable is limited.

I have found 5 essentials to help dental teams rise above their fears and embrace change as a positive process.

  • Trust in leadership
  • Clear and consistent direction
  • Structured plan
  • Adequate training and practice time
  • Realistic workload

The number one essential necessary to embrace change is trust in the leadership.  If the team members trust their leader(s) they will be more willing to step into the unpredictable and unknown.  Leaders can build trust by embodying the following traits:

  1. Model the waddle is the number one leadership principle – in other words lead by example
  2. Have a clear and consistent direction
  3. Be transparent by communicating to keep the team in the loop as much as possible
  4. Be open to suggestions and feedback
  5. Address any obstacles, fears or concerns the team may have about the change

The second essential is to communicate a clear and consistent direction.  It is important to use a decision strategy to avoid fly-bys and emotion driven decisions in the heat of the moment.  I teach the following four strategic steps:

  • What’s in the best interests of the patients, practice and the team – not any individual and long term
    • Think about 10 months and 10 years instead of next 10 minutes or 10 days
  • What is practical and realistic based on time, people and money currently available
  • What is the precedent being set
    • Is it fair, if we can’t do it across the board for everyone on the team it will feel like favoritism and divide the team
  • What is the level of passion we are willing to support the decision
    • Will we support it when push comes to shove even if it may result in losing an employee or a patient

Set your team up to succeed by communicating the change clearly and concisely.  I suggest the following communication process:

  • Clarify expectations
  • Ask questions to make sure everyone understands
  • Write objective down in bullet points if more than a couple of things
  • Identify equipment and supplies necessary
  • Schedule adequate training and practice time
  • Set realistic expectations for completion time and date
  • For more involved longer tasks schedule a check in

The third essential is for leadership to work with the team to develop a well-structured plan.  If you want the team to embrace a change, ask for their suggestions and feedback on how to implement the change.  If you want the team to have ownership, give them authorship as well.  A well-structured plan is well thought out and clearly defined.  I teach teams the R.I.S.E. Implementation Process to help them work together to create a well-structured plan.  R.I.S.E. is an acronym for Review, Implement, Sustain and Evaluate.

  • Review
    • What is it we are currently doing
    • What is working and what is not
    • Keep what is let go of what is not
    • WIIFTT – What’s in it for the team if we make the change
      • It is important for the value/benefits to rate an 8 or above on scale of 1 to 10 or it is difficult to sustain
    • Implement
      • What are we going to change
      • Who is going to do it
      • Who are we going to do it for
      • When are we going to do it – including time, sequence and flow
      • Where are we going do it – very specific location
      • Why are we going to do it
        • WIIFTT if we make the change – there must always be something in it for the team for the team to sustain the change
      • How are we going do it
        • Practice verbal skills
        • Practice role playing – yes, I know it’s awkward and it’s effective
        • Practice the entire physical walk through – never test it out for the first time on a patient
      • Create standard operating procedures
      • Schedule the roll out date
    • Sustain
      • In order to sustain it is important for the new change to become a habit
      • It takes a range of anywhere between 17 to 257 days to form a habit depending on the difficulty with the average being 66 days
        • Give any new change at least 60 days to get comfortable before considering any changes
      • Be precise and consistent to form a habit much sooner
        • Same sequence and steps for every team member every time
      • Support the change positively in words, actions and attitude
    • Evaluate
      • Is the process still working effectively
      • If not, what is the value and benefits in a change
      • Any change takes ongoing tweaking

The fourth essential is to schedule appropriate and adequate training and practice time.  I have found that the most positive and successful changes happen when the team has time to train and practice.

For new team members have clearly written weekly goals for the first 3 months.  Review the progress with the new team member weekly.  From 3 months to 1 year change to clear written monthly goals and review monthly.   Having clear written goals helps manage the expectations for the new team member as well as existing team.

For existing team members, meetings are the perfect opportunity for training and practice time.  Utilize your team meetings to:

  • Review and update systems and protocols
  • Implement new ideas
  • Monitor process of yearly goals
  • Practice, practice, practice
    • Verbal skills, role playing and physical walk through

Team meetings are most effective when you:

  • Schedule often enough
  • Schedule time enough
  • Schedule when most can attend
  • Get feedback from the entire team
    • Encourage solution focused suggestions on how to overcome potential obstacles

The fifth essential is to be realistic with the workload.  It will be very difficult to get the team excited about embracing something new if they are already swamped and consistently running behind.  It is important to evaluate whether there is adequate time, money, and people to successfully implement the change.  Don’t firehose your employees with changes.  Implement only one or two new changes at a time.  Even the most committed employees will become resistant to change if they are consistently overwhelmed.

Cultivating a culture with these 5 essentials will help you rise above the pain of change and make it a positive process.

March 1, 2023

How to Have Difficult Conversations – Approacher-Approahcee

There are hundreds of moving parts in the day-to-day activities of a dental practice.  Stuff happens even in the most successful practices.  It is vital that the entire team is empowered to discuss and resolve issues.  However, the fear of confrontation and conflict can often prevent many team members from having necessary difficult conversations.  Avoiding the short-term discomfort of having difficult conversations often causes long term dysfunction.  When we don’t address issues as they happen, they will spiral out of control.  We have all experienced something little grow into something big.

It’s time to have the difficult conversations to sustain a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture.   The conversation includes two roles.  The Approacher(s) and Approachee(s).  The Approacher(s) is the person conveying and inquiring and the Approachee it the person receiving and responding.

 

The Approacher’s Role

A difficult conversation is always in private and starts with positive communication from the Approacher.  The Approacher shares what they appreciate about the other person.  They build up instead of tear down by focusing on the other person’s strengths.  A positive conversation has a minimum of a three to one ratio.  Three positives for every one growth opportunity.  Research shows that exceptional relationships have a five to one ratio.  You may be thinking; what if I can’t find 5 positives.  Every person has a least 5 strengths you can highlight!  We will discover their strengths when we shift our focus from their weaknesses to their strengths.  How ironic that our strengths are just taken for granted and minimized whereas our weaknesses are highlighted.

Be specific instead of generalizing.  Focus more on objective points than subjective opinions. Just saying “I don’t like it or you’re doing this wrong” is not helpful. On the other hand, stating the specific strengths or skills you would like to see developed is helpful.

Don’t make it personal.  Talk about issue not the person.  Avoid saying, “you need to”.  Start the conversation with the word I instead of saying you.  For example, “I noticed,” “I have seen,” “I observed,” or when sharing feedback from others, “I have had reported to me.” “I” conversations are issue-focused instead of person-focused.  Always consider how your words may impact the other person.   Ask yourself; how can I say what I need to say and be respectful of how they may feel.

Keep your energy neutral and come with a mindset of care, curiosity, and concern instead of judgment and criticism.  Never have a conversation when you are angry or frustrated or your emotions will rule the conversation.  Instead take a few minutes to process and get calm. Start out by making eye contact with the other person.  Be mindful of tone and body language as well as words. A tone of care and concern communicates a sense of importance and provides the appropriate level of sincerity to the conversation.  Avoid using sarcasm or derogatory words or the content of the conversation will get lost in the harshness. Once you say something it cannot be taken back. An apology doesn’t mean we forget.  The old nursery rhyme that goes sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, is not true.  Words can destroy even the best of relationships.

Break your feedback down into key points. Don’t give your feedback as one big lump. Break it down into various key points, then give your feedback point by point.

Give examples of each point. What are the exact issues, situations, or examples where the person exhibits the behaviors you highlighted? There is no need to highlight every single one. – just disclosing a couple of examples per point will be sufficient. The purpose is to bring the person’s awareness to things which he/she may not be aware of and clearly illustrate what you mean.

Be timely!  Try to address issues/concerns as they happen or within 24 hours of the occurrence. I have actually seen employers make a list of everything an employee has done wrong or needs to improve on for the year and go over it at their annual review.  It reminds me of Santa Claus’s naughty list!   It’s no wonder why reviews get a bad rap!

Ask the other person what they need from you (communication, support, training, practice) to be able to achieve the desired results.  Together discuss and agree on a resolution.

 

The Approachee’s Role

The aproachee is to start out by just listening and not taking offense.  The team must be able to talk about what’s not working to resolve issues.  It is important to recognize that the approacher’s intent is good and to realize that it is not easy to approach someone.

Listen intently before responding.  Make eye contact with the other person.  Instead of defending, deflecting, or blaming someone else consider how your actions or lack of actions affected the outcome.   Be honest with your response.

Acknowledge you heard and understand them.  Never assume.  If you are unsure ask questions until you clearly understand.  If you are thinking I think they mean this…ask more questions.

Don’t take it personal.  If the issue pertains to the patients, the practice, or the team it is necessary to address.  It can be difficult to hear when we are not meeting the standards or expectations.  However, it is necessary to address to create and sustain a happier, healthier and higher performing culture.

Take it seriously.  It may not seem important or be a priority to you, but it is for the other person.

Control your emotions.  If you are upset don’t just walk off in anger or frustration.  Instead, let them know that you need a little time to process the information they shared, and you will respond later that day.  Try respond within 24 hours.

If you are on the receiving end of anger or frustration, ask the person if they are okay.  This is their cue to reset their energy to calm and neutral.  A response of frustration, sigh or rolling of the eyes, may actually be inward focused and yet can feel directed outward.  If you are feeling attacked or uncomfortable let them know.  For example, you seem frustrated or angry is that directed towards me.

Share what you need (communication, support, training, practice) to be able achieve the desired results.  Together discuss and agree on a solution and make a commitment.

Have the difficult conversations to sustain a happier, healthier, and higher performing service culture!

December 1, 2022

Me Destroys We!

I have the privilege of working with dental teams nationwide through my teambuilding Culture Camps!  They are customized to meet the unique and specific needs of the practice and vary greatly in each office.  However, every Culture Camp starts with a meeting on the first night with the leadership team.  I start with them because everything begins and ends with their leadership.  It’s what leaders do, allow, or accept that cultivates the culture.  If the leadership team is not aligned and cohesive it will be difficult to get the team aligned and cohesive.

I spend the first evening getting to know and building a relationship with the leadership team.  We discuss their goals and obstacles with the practice, team, and each other.  I refer to the leadership team as the “we team”!  I call them the “we team” because leaders need to think as we instead of as me.  We thinking” cultivates alignment and cohesion.  When leaders are aligned and cohesive, they communicate and work together better which produces a happier, healthier, and higher performing practice culture.

One of the pitfalls I observe especially in high producing practices is discord amongst the leadership team.  Often the more successful a practice is the more strife there seems to be between the leadership team.  Success often inflames egos.  It is dangerous when we allow success to go to our head.  When it does, our ego takes over and we feel entitled.  Entitlement changes our mindset from we to me.  “Me destroys we!”

Me creates an exaggerated pride, overwhelming self-confidence, and contempt for others.  Taken to extreme it can become the acquired personality disorder “hubris syndrome.” Scientific research defines it as a “disorder of the possession of power, particularly power which has been associated with overwhelming success, held for a period of years.”

There is a difference between a healthy ego and an unhealthy one.  Healthy egos are good and needed to succeed.  When meeting and assessing the leadership team, I look for signs of an unhealthy ego that may undermine alignment, cohesiveness, and even greater success.

Here are some of the most common sabotaging beliefs.  Consider your own thinking and see if you might need to readjust your viewpoint.

  • I am the owner doctor, and I can do what I want.
  • I am entitled to do what I want because I am the biggest producer.
  • I only support my decisions because I have the most knowledge.
  • I can never show when I am unsure or don’t know the answer or it will make me look stupid.
  • I can’t admit to mistakes, or it will make me look weak.
  • I will deflect and criticize others when I am challenged to not lose face.

An unhealthy ego narrows our perception and corrupts our behavior, often causing us to act against our core values.  When we believe we’re are the only one responsible for our success, we tend to be disrespectful, selfish, and unkind.  After all, we don’t need anyone else, and others are replaceable!  This is especially true in challenging situations. An unhealthy ego is like a wall that stops us from learning from our failures. Our past success left unchecked can sabotage our future success!

An unhealthy ego looks for information that confirms what it wants to believe. It makes us believe we are always right.  We only see and hear things our way.  We become susceptible like the emperor in the folktale The Emperor’s New Clothes!”

The result, we alienate the people we lead, the culture, and ultimately the patients.  I love the quote “Ego is a three-letter word that can destroy a big twelve-letter word called Relationship!”   We have all heard about great bands who had amazing success only to break up because of unhealthy egos.  They became a me instead of a “We”.   Their ego created me entitlement.  Me entitlement ended their relationship and sabotaged their future success as a band!

Healthy egos are good and needed to succeed.  A healthy ego is confident and decisive.  Yet, they know that there is more than just one way.  They know they aren’t always right.  They encourage open dialogue and are open to feedback.  They will support what is in the best interests of the practice, patients, and team (also referring doctors if they are a specialty practice).

Behaviors of a healthy leadership ego are:

  • They are determined to make a difference.
  • They know their why (sense of purpose).
  • They are self-confident and secure.
  • They are aware of their weaknesses and are comfortable in their skin.
  • They reflect instead of deflect.
  • They are approachable, open, and honest.
  • They keep things in perspective.
  • They admit when they are wrong.
  • They allow themselves to be vulnerable.
  • They are genuine and don’t pretend to be something they are not.
  • They are tolerant of people who have different views.
  • They are willing to listen and accept feedback.
  • They empower others to step up.

No one is perfect, and our ego will get the best of us at times.  Being open to feedback from our co-leaders, team members, and using a coach who can observe and advise are great ways to become a more aligned and cohesive “We”!

September 29, 2022

5 Strategies That Cultivate Positive Change!    

I help dental teams nationwide successfully embrace change. This message is dedicated to learning how to cultivate a culture where change can be a more positive, successful, and sustainable experience!  Change requires us to have courage to face our fear of the unpredictable unknown! Regardless of how dysfunctional, unhappy, unproductive, or toxic the current culture maybe it often feels safer to keep the status quo. The known almost always feels safer than the unknown. That is why the value of the change must be clear to those expected to make the change. It is important for the value and benefits of change to rate an 8 or above on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being high. Otherwise, the chance for the change to be sustained is limited.

“Change starts in our mind!”

I facilitate Culture Camps nationwide.  I have found 5 consistent strategies that cultivate positive change!

  • Trust in leadership
  • Clear and consistent message
  • Structured plan
  • Adequate training and practice time
  • Realistic workload

Number 1!  Trust in the leadership. If the team members trust their leader(s) they will be more willing to step into the unpredictable unknown. Leaders can build trust by embodying the following traits:

  • Model the waddle is the number one leadership principle – in other words lead by example
  • Aligned leadership – Have a clear and consistent direction
  • Be transparent and keep the team in the loop as much as possible
  • Be open to suggestions and feedback
  • Address any obstacles, fears, or concerns the team may have in open communication

Number 2!  Communicate a clear and consistent message. Set your team up to succeed by communicating the change clearly and concisely. I suggest the following communication process:

  • Clarify expectations
  • Ask questions to make sure everyone understands
  • Write objective down in bullet points if more than a couple of things
  • Set realistic expectations for completion time and date
  • For more involved or longer tasks schedule a check in

Number 3!  Develop a well-structured plan. If you want the team to embrace a change, ask for their suggestions and feedback on how to implement the change. If you want the team to have ownership, give them authorship as well. A well-structured plan is well thought out and clearly defined. I teach teams the R.I.S.E. Implementation Process to help them work together to create a well-structured plan. R.I.S.E. is an acronym for Review, Implement, Sustain and Evaluate.  Email me at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net and request R.I.S.E. Process White page.

Number 4!  Schedule appropriate and adequate training and practice time. I have found that the most positive and successful changes happen when the team has time to train and practice.  Team meetings are the perfect opportunity for training and practice time.

Number 5!  Be realistic with workload expectations. It will be very difficult to get the team excited about embracing something new if they already feel swamped and are consistently running behind. It is important to evaluate if there is enough time, money and people to implement the change successfully. Even the most committed employees will become resistant to change if they are consistently overwhelmed.

Implementing these 5 strategies will help you cultivate positive change!

September 1, 2022

A Code of Commitments!

Even the best of us can lose our way in all the noise and hubbub of the day-to-day stresses! Establishing a Code of Commitments for the practice will help the entire team keep on track…even in stressful situations when the wheels fall off!

A Code of Commitments is about having a preplanned game plan on how to react. Behaviorally, that means testing decisions and planned reactions for “integrity” that support the core values before implementing them.

Here are 4 questions to help you create your own code of conduct:

  • Is it legal?
  • Is it ethical?
  • Does it align with the practice core values?
  • Does it support each other and the patients?

I suggest a team meeting (4 hours minimal) to establish a Code of Commitments for the practice.  Start the meeting by reviewing the practice’s 4 core values.  Owner doctors you will need to have established 4 core values in order of priority.  All owner doctors must support the same 4 core values.  Ask the entire team to share how, when and where they feel the Core Values are not being supported.

Utilize a large easel pad and markers to write down all the concerns being shared.  Discuss the breakdowns that are happening.  What current attitudes and behaviors support the Core Values?  What current attitudes and behaviors need changing to support the Core Values?  The behaviors you list that support as well as the necessary changes become your new Code of Commitments!

It is very important for the We Team (leadership team) to lead by example on whatever is established as the Code of Commitments.

Here is an example of a Code of Commitments.

  • Model the waddle you want to see
  • Set and maintain high standards – no double standards
  • Support a no gossip culture
  • Communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully
  • Treat each other as well as you treat your patients
  • Resolve conflict by going to the source the same day if possible
  • Take ownership, follow through, and be accountable for your mistakes
  • Support each other and help each other succeed
  • Hold each other accountable to the practice’s standards for behavior, communication, attitude, and service!

Having a Code of Commitments will empower the entire team to interact with patients and each other with integrity!

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